A Grandparent Dies
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teens have a hard time too
Teens don't always know what in the heck to do...they feel funny when older family members come up and pat them on the head, then there is the smell of flowers and the crowds of people. Some crying ,some laughing and some telling stories. It is okay to just act yourself and let your own feelings out. Tell jokes, laugh, remember the cakes she made, her wonderful smile, the trips you took together... and how much she loved you.
No two of us experience the loss of a grandparent in the same manner. Yet we all feel the loss of being left behind. Don't hide your feelings.Loss is real; it is wise to take it seriously, you have a right to them, and you have a duty to yourself to honor them.
Saying goodbye isn't always the chance you get, sometimes it happens quickly and unexpectly and you feel sad about this. But you can say goodbye with your good memories, writing a poem and read it at the services, or place a favorite item in the casket, place a song for them on your favorite instrument...take some time to express your deepest feelings, of either gratitude, disappointment, anger, joy or loss. Just find a way.
It can be a real challenge at the funeral, but they are important.As a teen facing someone's death isn't easy. You will be expected to attend as a ritual of your culture and tradition,but these are necessary and will bring meaning and comfort at this time of confusion and pain. " My advise is to have someone you love and trust stand by you". Don't worry if you are at a loss for words or don't know what to do, it's ok. Your presence is your most important contribution.
Give grief time. Life has a way of going on no matter how big the loss is you experienced. Time and care ( care from others, as well as the care you give yourself) will pull you through.
Be careful just how you deal with the emptiness though. People become angry, depressed, sad and may try to soothe these feelings with the use of alcohol,drugs or other not so good behavior. Remember you have family , friends, counselors willing to talk and let you face the death,because it always raises all sorts of questions.
Everything and everyone lives and dies. It is now how we live our lifes,try to remember what your grandparent would have been doing. Everyone has a fear of the unknown..So get your questions about life, death and the afterlife settled in your mind. And may your best memories of your grandparent live on in you. G-Ma :o) hugs
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Well I Thank you C. S. sweetie..I am just writing things I feel a lot about...I guess it's my age..And here it can be said and written and maybe help some one no matter what age they are. Since caring for my mom there has been a lot of things brought to my mind....I'm sure you understand , right ? G-Ma :o) hugs
G ma I am no teenager and it is not the loss of a grandparent that I am dealing with. But this piece of writing made a lot of sense to me.
Hi Terry glad to meet you and Thank You for your comment. Am very sorry for the loss you are going through and also glad my little bit could do some good. It is never an easy thing , no matter what the circumstances are.
Personally my pain right now is from a lost lover and am also preparing (not planned, but inevitable) for death of my 88 year old mom..Although she is healthy bodily, she has Dementia and I had to put her in a facility. However the women on this side of our family live long...so who knows she could live for quite a while yet...which I am praying she does.
However at my age you begin to look at death more seriously, especially not having lost too many yet,enough though of my favorites.Do take care and you can call on me anytime you feel the need...God be with You... G-Ma :o) hugs
Thanks Gma I can't tell you how good it feels to have a shoulder to cry on especially when the shoulder which you thought would last you a lifetime is snatched away cruelly from you.
Oh dear sounds like a rough time for you....It must be very difficult...do you have someone close to you or an old friend to talk too> It is a good thing sweetie to seek help from someone, not from something ! !....time is the real healer..but it seems to move so slowly at a time like you are going through. God be with you and you will be in my prayers. Do you believe in Prayers? G-Ma :o) hugs
I have a constant love hate relationship with God. But i do pray all the same. Thanks G ma
Terry...well it is very common to feel as you do right now....but seems to me you will pull through with the help of God as well as your friends and family. Just keep "an upper lip" as they say...I guess that means SMILE...but tears are eccepted sweetie..I do pray for you each day and I am always here if you need me. G-Ma :o) hugs
Very thought provoking. Most of us don't think about death until it's already struck and then it can be hard to know how to deal with it. Thanks for your words of wisdom and comfort.
Yes dear it is so true and even then will be difficult to deal with. I am everyday worrying about my mom...especially since she broke her wrist on easter...:o( She isn't eating very well and the pain pills are making her sleep a lot..which is a good thing I guess...for a while anyway. Bless you...G-Ma :o) hugs to you both there
Fantastic hub! My grandmother passed away a few months ago which was a really sad time in my life. She was my last grandparent and my best friend. Thank you for your hub.
-your newest fan
epictruth...am so sorry for your loss..is never an easy thing to go through or an easy time in your life...be very thankful she was also your best friend...I personally rarely saw a grandparent..let alone have one as a best friend....Carry the memories within your heart my dear...and you can honor her by being like her..."a friend in need...is a friend in deed"...God love you...thank you for becoming my newest fan and for the comment G-Ma :o) hugs
Yeah - teen-age is the awkward period in one's life when one is not sure how much to reveal of one's emotions, especially grief.
Nice hub G-ma! :) Death of a loved one is among the hardest things to face in life, whatever be your age. I've been through it; bottling up my grief did take its toll.
Thanks G-ma!
Awww...so sorry my dear and my prayers for you as of now.. I know it is very difficult for the ones left behind..but keep your head up and know you are very important and loved by those still here on this planet we call earth...also remember to do the things your lost one would want you to do..in their honor would make them happy..They are with you in spirit and are watching over you..God Bless you...thanks for commenting too...G-Ma :o) hugs
I'm about to lose my grandfather, I am a teenager and what you said makes complete sense to me. thank you
ive never been to a funeral before and I'm really nervous about how to act and everything.
Am so sorry to hear that my dear...and my prayers go to you...Your grandfather is now in Peace and his memories will carry you on in life... Just be yourself honey and cry if you feel like it...give grief time to go away...it does get easier...and mostly remember there is help out there...counselors, friends, parents, teachers, clergyman,support groups...and don't be embarrassed to seek assistance..
We all need a shoulder to cry on as well as lean on...just remember the Good news is the time you spent together....God Bless you....G-Ma :o) hugs
Hi G-Ma, I like what you said about giving grief time. There is a time for mourning and a time for rejoicing. We should allow people to grieve and then help them move on. Thanks for the insights. :)
Hi ripplemaker..yes is all true and we need to be more educated on death...It is a part of life...and I am learning more each day...dealing with mom...Bless her...Thank you sweetie for your comment...G-Ma :o) hugs
I agree - a funeral is a good way of saying goodbye, and joining in rememberance.
LondonGirl...Thanks for the comment...though I am now thinking it is for the livings comfort...as we have our chances while our loved ones are still with us...however as I get up in age I realize how quickly life goes by...G-ma :O) Hugs & Peace
Yes, funerals are entirely about the living, nothing really to do with the dead (in my opinion).
G-MA you are the best! That was such a great hub. I lost my Grandpa Johnson just months ago and it has been so hard. I often think of him and in my mind I still see him alive, although I was at his viewing and he was infact dead. I my brain couldn't accept reality I guess.
I have been so sad for months now and I put photos of me and him up in my house as well as photos of my grandma and grandpa in the 1940's. It is so difficult whether we are teenagers or adults.. In the end, like you said we need to remember them and that is how they live on...through us ......Your hub was wonderful.... THANKS!
jjrubio...
First of all my dear My prayers will be said for you and I know it is difficult...but time is a good healer and you seem to be on the right path...speaking about it is so important, so if ever you need a shoulder mine is always here...God Bless...G-Ma:O) Hugs & Prayers
G-ma, your words have helped me greatly. I read a previous comment that was extremely unique to me, as someone said that their grandmother was their friend. This is how I feel..I am not only losing my grandmother, but my best friend as well. She calls me her "best pal" and it pains me that I will no longer have her around. And even worse, I fear that so soon I must pray to her rather than call her on the phone to speak with her. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I admire your strength and wish I could be the same way but I just don't think I'll ever move on.
Yes you will colbycandy...because her spirit will always be with you to guide you, to strengthen you and to Love you...just remember how you two used to speak to each other and you can still do that; just say the words out loud as if she was there, cause she is in your heart and no one can ever take that away...
My prayers sweetie and God Be with You...:O) G-Ma
my nan just passed away today and this infomation helped me alot to understand what to do thank you
My sorrow joins yours 'connor patmore' as well as my prayers for you..time is a great healer...just give it time my dear. Remember all the great times you shared and try to always do what you know she would approve of, a nice way to honor nan...I am happy if this hub helped you in some small way...:O) HUGS G-Ma
Well done hub. People often forget the teens and how they may be feeling. They are old enough to understand, but don't have the maturity of an adult, and so they may not know what to do with all the feelings. Very sensitive hub and thoughtfully composed. Rated up and useful
toknowinfo...Yes teens do seem to be forgotten in a way...it is a tough time in your life (being a teenager) you feel all grown up...sometimes...then you feel like a kid again...sometimes...I remember well when I was a teen. so if this gets to any teens and helps them a bit I am Happy...
Thank you for the rated up & useful and the comment...:O) Hugs G-Ma
C.S.Alexis Level 1 Commenter 4 years ago
G-Ma, You seem to have a way about knowing and pointing things out in a gentle manner. Your range of understanding is broad and thoughtful. This is a sensitive subject and you have covered it well. Great job.